Talking to your parents about aging can be a challenging, intense, and multifaceted discussion. Discussing the move to assisted living or hiring a home care service can be overwhelming to you and your parents, and therefore it's understandable if you feel anxious to talk. This talk can be awkward since it includes discussing your parents' ability to take care of themselves, their financial status, any challenges they may be facing like their inability to drive, and not forgetting end-of-life plans. Your parents may view the move to assisted living or having a stranger at their home as a way of losing their independence or think that they have become a burden to you and your siblings.
Most parents will be adamant about moving to an assisted living home or having a stranger in their home. Knowing or assuming your parents' reaction to this topic may make it impossible to broach it. It's normal to be afraid of how your parents will react when you raise the topic, but you don’t have a choice. It is essential to discuss this topic when your parents are coherent enough and in a position to make the decision. You do not have to wait until your parents suffer an injury that requires senior home care or until their illness progresses and circumstances force you to make a rash decision.
Discussing your parents' home care options when they are medically fit will benefit you as it will remove the anxiety that comes with a rash decision. Your parents will have ample time to come to terms with the decision, and you will be in a position to look into various options which match your budget and expectations. It will also remove the frustrations, anger, and accusations accompanying a rush decision. After deciding to have this talk with your parents, the following tips will help you talk and plan on your parents’ care at old age.
Conduct a Thorough Research on Available Senior Care Options
When you decide to talk to your parents about assisted senior living, you must research the available options. Learn more about the types of senior care options available in your state or elsewhere if you want to relocate them to a different state. Look into the financing options of either assisted living or having a senior home care option to ensure your parents can afford them. Although various senior care providers charge different prices, it's better to have a rough idea of the price range. You can contact several communities and home care providers in your area and have an accurate picture of what you will be dealing with if you decide to go long-term.
Having all the facts ready before talking with your parents is vital as you will give them something to think about. When you have the discussion, let them consider the issue before deciding whether to move to an assisted living community or stay at their home with the assistance of a home caregiver.
Ensure You Talk About Senior Home Care Advantages and Not Only Their Limitations
Discussing with your parents about senior care, whether taking them to an assisted living community or having a home giver come into their home, can make them feel defensive. This is especially true if they suffer from a chronic condition that may worsen. You must remain firm when discussing their limitations and the advantages of having senior care. Discuss if they would prefer a home caregiver or move into an assisted living community. Highlight all the benefits of each option, and let them decide what they would love best.
Sometimes you can decide to take a trial where you invite a home caregiver to care for them while you are away. You can take a vacation and let your parents have this time with a home caregiver. Afterward, you can decide to visit friends or family living in assisted communities and let your parents choose where they will be more comfortable.
Consider Your Parents' Feelings
When you decide to have a senior care talk with your parents, one thing you should know is that you can’t force or control their reactions. It’s essential to consider their feelings and how they will feel having a stranger in their home or leaving the comfort of their home for an assisted living community. Sometimes, your parents are aware that they need help with their daily living but are hesitant to seek help as they think they should care for themselves. Take into consideration their perspective, and then have conversations with them. When discussing these changes, you should ensure that your parents are comfortable and don’t impose your opinions on them, let them decide if they can. One thing that your parents will appreciate is the feeling that they are in control of their lives.
While having this talk, it's essential to have a comfortable environment and ask your parents how they envision their golden years. Do not make the talk about senior care be a must discussion where you lecture them on the importance of senior care. You should always treat your parents with the respect they deserve and honor their wishes.
Choose The Right Time To Have This Discussion
Sometimes due to your busy schedule taking care of your family and work, you may lack an opportunity to sit down and discuss senior care with your parents. Do not fall into the temptation of discussing senior care options when you don't have time to sit down and adequately discuss the topic. Your parents need to see that you are taking the issue seriously.
Discussing senior care options is a topic that requires you to devote enough time to conduct thorough research and then discuss it with your parents at their pace. If they are not comfortable with it, let them take some time to think about it before raising it again. You will have to show them the importance of discussing their future options in a manner that lets them know you have their best interest at heart. Do not force them to discuss this topic if they are unwilling, but you could ask them what they wish for and work from there.
Ensure that you have this talk with both your parents when they are in their right frame of mind. Let it be an ongoing discussion. If they are hesitant, you can have them go through the senior care website and look at the testimonials of those who have experienced their help firsthand.
Choose The Right Setting
Setting plays a significant role; choose a location where you won't be interrupted unnecessarily. When discussing your parents' future, you will need to do so in an environment where you have their full attention. You can consult their future in their backyard, kitchen, or even take a walk in a nearby park. All that matters is a setting where there are few or no disruptions. Let your parents know that they are not a bother to you and that their needing assistance is not an indication of weakness.
When discussing the available senior care options, do not assume that your parents will like one option over the others. Let the decision solely lie on their shoulders as it will affect their lives. When you bring this topic up for discussion, let the conversation flow naturally. The most crucial step is taking the first step and letting nature take its course. If you try to force the issue when you realize your parents are hesitant to talk about their future, it could harm the discussion.
Be Open And Candid About Your Feelings
It's essential to recognize your shortcomings and let your parents know that though you want to take care of them, you have a busy schedule, and that's why you want them to consider the available senior care options. Let them know you will support them in whatever decision they make in the long run. Express your concerns during this discussion to help your parents understand that you are worried and concerned about them. You should be very careful when discussing your parents' limitations as you do not want to come off as someone who is chastising them. Let your parents know that you want what is best for every person concerned, that is them, and for your peace of mind.
When discussing the senior care options with your parents, you must remain respectful no matter their reaction. Use a tone that is not dismissive or bossy, and always remember that your parents are adults and you can not, therefore, force your desires on them. Listen to their concerns and try to address them. When you find out what worries them, try to develop a solution. You can research more on the issue that concerns them. The important thing is knowing that it will take time before you can all agree on an option. Therefore, be patient with your parents even when it feels like they are dragging their feet about the issue. Remember the last time you decided that had a long-term effect on your life. You did not make that decision lightly, and you took your time. Giving your parents the same time to decide is the best gift you give them.
Have a Light Moment
Having a light moment while discussing your parents' plans may seem out of context, but you need to laugh and enjoy the time you have as a family with your parents. It's important to find humor in all situations and relax as the most crucial aspect is being able to enjoy each other's company. Lead the conversation in a manner that is not combative but lets the conversation flow naturally, and it's not the end of the world.
Once you start the conversation, you will realize that it will flow smoothly over time once your parents have had time to think it over. Also, your parents will have the peace of knowing what their future holds, and having your support will go a long way.
Let The Past Be
Sometimes you may have had a rocky relationship with your parents in the past, and it's time to let go. Do not judge their past decisions when it comes to your youth. It's your time to take care of your parents, and holding the past over them won't do you or them any favors. When you find yourself in this position, it's essential to treat them the way you want your kids to treat you when you are a senior. Have an open mind when discussing care options with your parents, and dont their past decisions and judgment to color your decision.
You should note that your parents have spent their time caring for you, and letting go and having someone else take the reins may be difficult. Giving up cooking, driving, or accepting that they need help can be a bitter pill to swallow. They may view this decision as losing their independence, but talk to them and show them the benefits of having someone else. They will have more time to do what they have always loved doing, and they can devote more time to their hobbies and passion. When they have someone cooking and having other chores done, they can use this free time to pursue their dreams.
Include Everyone In Your Conversation
It's essential to involve all your family members in senior care discussions so that they can contribute to the debate. Having everyone involved will help unite your family where you listen to every person's views and opinions. This will help assess what is beneficial to your parents as they will know they have the full support of their family. You can also bring in a professional caregiver and listen to their advice when caring for your parents.
You should note that different people will have different opinions, and, therefore, be prepared when some of your family doesn't support your decision. Consider all the factors and views aired during the discussion before settling on a senior care option for your parents. Sometimes you may have so many opinions that you don’t have any decision. If this is the case, you can try to liaise with a health care provider who will shed more light on the type of care that could benefit your parents. You can also try different senior care options before deciding to try one which favors your parents better.
Find an Elderly Homecare Service Near Me
After talking to your aging parents about in-home care, you may find that home care is the best option. Some advantages of a home care service are that your parents will not lose their sense of independence, and the home caregiver will take care of them from the comfort of their home. After agreeing with your parents that in-home care in Los Angeles, CA, is ideal, you can look for a reliable home care service. At Mom's Home Care, our caregivers can visit your parents and advise you accordingly, and this will allow you to evaluate our services and ask any questions you may have. For more information about home care services, reach us at 323-244-4789 and have a no-obligation consultation with our caregivers.
